Do you consider yourself a good catch? And yet don’t know what is holding you back from finding love? Is single status just not fun anymore? I created a list of the three most common reasons why you haven’t found your partner yet.
Your checklist
You have been searching for too long and perhaps it is not working. I guarantee you that for many people who want to date you, you became unreachable and unattainable. I asked one of my clients what she is looking for in a man… twenty minutes later and 5 following emails with pictures of an ideal man, she said “Just the basics.” While in your eyes it might be basic, in others, you have high standards. It was at that time that my client needed a reality check with what is possible because her checklist is out of hand.
While it’s nice to have a wish list, it is also important to tune into the connection with your date. Stay present and focus on the person right next to you. Feel their energy, their smile and create laughter. Make them feel that they want to know you on a deeper level and they are not just points from your checklist. Focus on what connection you are creating and how much you are enjoying yourself with the person right in front of you.
Your energy
Have you gone on several dates and still not found the right partner? Time to pause and look at your own energy. Is it possible that you might feel frustrated or burned out from dating and that you are bringing this energy with you? Frequently our clients will say “I’m frustrated from dating and I do not bring negative energy when I meet someone.”
One of my client’s went on multiple dates with amazing men and yet, every time I received a long email about what was wrong with him. On top of everything, she wasn’t open to hearing feedback from dates that was gathered from her introductions, stating that she is “very intense.” Being aware of your own intensity and energy is very valuable. It is not always someone else’s fault. Something needs to change and it is not the world around you.
Your vulnerability
You are afraid to be vulnerable and take chances. Many people are passing through your life but yet you can’t connect with any of them. Being vulnerable with another person is scary and you can instinctively push everyone away. You look back and realize that many great people are in your friend zone and there have been opportunities for you to be in love but you’ve never taken them. Vulnerability isn’t easy because it means you would need to face the possibility of getting hurt again. Yet, it’s time to gather the strength and courage again and hope of finding love. Take small steps but be consistent and you will reach something bigger.
If this was hard to read, it means there was a truth that you needed to hear today. I Hope you found your answers to your question on what is holding you back from love. I hope you find courage to make changes and find love.
