How to Meet Men

As a dating coach who helps men and women alike, I would love to give you my perspective on how to meet men. But before I do, I would love to address an important thing that is essential for finding the right partner.

Let’s talk about YOU. I know you are probably thinking of skipping this part, but really take the time to read it. Many people want to rush to the ending, but it is important to start at the roots. Moreover, usually, women who start coaching with me end up going back to the start because they realize how important it is for them to uncover what is actually holding them back. And who knows, many of you might not even need to get to the section on how to meet men.

“You are amazing.”

I want you to keep that in mind because just believing in yourself is the strongest power you can have. Many women connect with me for coaching and one of the biggest reasons why they can’t find the right partner is that they believe they do not deserve love. I understand that many women, including myself, have gone through so much pain and heartbreak in life that sometimes it feels almost impossible to love ourselves. Consequently, even when you meet a great guy, your negative energy and lack of self-esteem can push him away. What I usually hear from men is that these women are too deep in their pain and they don’t want to be their psychiatrists. Instead, they want to be partners with someone who loves their own self and enjoys life fully. Someone who sees the beauty in being alive—that’s sexy, and that’s what attracts men naturally.

“Dating walls”

On the other hand, many women may come to believe in themselves, but they also build strong walls around them in fear of being vulnerable. They believe that there are no good men around, but they don’t see the walls that they’ve built over years that prevent anyone from getting close to them. This is a form of self-protection, but their desire to avoid future hurts leads them to loneliness. One of my clients has built such walls, and when someone tries to get closer to her, she has a bad habit of chasing them off with abrasive jokes. She sees herself as funny, but in reality, all men run away from her because she makes them feel small. My advice is to look inside and ask yourself, “How do others see me?” Acknowledge that you might have your walls up and slowly start taking them down. Be open to an opportunity to meet men and show your vulnerability.

How to meet men?

An approachable attitude is the number one thing that men look for when they’re trying to connect with women. I know life is hectic, but in order to meet the right person, I suggest you slow down. When was the last time you actually noticed all the men around you, made eye contact or returned a simple smile? Those are ways you can make yourself more approachable and have men feel like they have a chance with you. Give them a little of yourself and show them that it would be really fun to get to know you.

One of my clients always rushed her days; as an executive manager, her life was constant decision making. “Make it fast and effective,” was her motto. I asked her how many men she ran into in an average week. She said none. I suggested she slow down and actually notice the men around her. She came back and happily, announced that during that week, she ran into 10 guys that she would consider actually dating. Yes, it could be that simple for you, too! Just slow down your process and start noticing who is around you. The next week I suggested that she give some of them a slight smile, and while she thought it would be awkward first, she did it anyway and discovered that men she smiled at came over to chat with her. Having an open, approachable demeanor really does make all the difference.

But don’t stop there!

Create a lifestyle that gives you opportunities to meet men. Join events in your area—many men love women who are social, who love outdoor activities, or who have hobbies that connect them. Find a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try and do it. No excuses! Join a group and never turn down an invitation from friends to attend gatherings or parties. Put effort and energy into meeting men. Create a lifestyle that speaks to you; reflect on things that you want to try and enjoy.

Take good care of yourself!

Give yourself time to relax, wear clothes that you feel amazing in, and connect with your inner self to feel good. Do something to bring out your smile, like booking a trip or simply taking yourself on a date. What places have you always wanted to visit and what adventures have you postponed? When was the last time went to a winery or spa? Or even just went for a nice walk to get ice cream? When you take care of yourself, you’ll find that men are naturally drawn to you because you’re happier, healthier, and feel more confident.

You are in charge of your journey and how you meet men. My ideas won’t work without you. I hope you will share with me how you met your man!